Turn Your Inner Critic Into Your Biggest Hype Woman
Fun, heartfelt advice on flipping that self-talk from shade to sunshine
You know that voice in your head? The one with the attitude, the side-eye, and the shade? Mama, it’s time she got a makeover.
Because the same voice that’s been dragging you—
“Why did you wear that?”
“You’re too old for this.”
“Girl, nobody’s checking for you…”
—can also be the voice that cheers you on like you just stepped onto a Verzuz stage in gold boots and a soul full of fire.
Yes, your inner critic can become your inner hype woman. And when she does? Whew. Game. Changed.
When My Inner Critic Was the Loudest Chick in the Room
Let me be real: I didn’t always have the most uplifting voice in my head. In fact, for a while she sounded like Regina George from Mean Girls and Auntie with the sharp tongue rolled into one. Especially in my 40s, during a major life pivot, she got real mouthy.
She’d say things like:
“Too late to try that.”
“Why would anyone care what you have to say?”
“You’re not ready. You’re not qualified. You’re not enough.”
And I believed her. For a while.
But then I realized…
She was just scared.
She was just trying to protect me—from rejection, from failure, from shining too bright.
So I had a little chat with her.
And I said: “Listen. If you’re gonna be in my head, you’re gonna gas me up, not tear me down.”
That was the beginning of a new relationship—with me.
The Truth: You Can Rewire the Narrative
Your thoughts don’t have to run the show. You get to decide who has the mic.
That voice in your head? She learned her script from society, old wounds, and fear—not your truth.
And just like any character, she can be rewritten.
So instead of letting her talk trash, let’s teach her how to talk treasure.
Here’s How I Made My Inner Critic My Hype Queen
These are simple, joyful shifts that turned my mental mean girl into my personal motivational coach with hoop earrings and a tambourine:
✦ Name Her, Then Reclaim Her
My critic? I named her “Monique”
Monique is dramatic but coachable. When she starts her nonsense, I say,
“Not today, boo. We’re on the same team.”
✦ Create a Hype File
Keep a journal, a notes app, or a folder with compliments, wins, and reminders of your magic. Read it loudly when Monique gets slick.
✦ Talk to Yourself Like You Talk to Your Girls
You’d never call your bestie a washed-up has-been. So don’t do it to yourself. Encourage yourself like you would your most fabulous friend.
✦ Mirror Talk, Baby
Every morning, I look myself in the eye and say:
“Girl, you are fine. You are fierce. You are chosen.”
At first it felt weird. Now it feels like church.
✦ Laugh at the Lies
When your critic says something ridiculous, laugh. Out loud. “Oh, now you’re worried about what they think? We wear kimonos and cowrie shells, Monique. We BEEN free.”
Visualize This.
You’re walking down the street, curls poppin’, music in your earbuds, feeling like a walking affirmation. And your inner voice? She’s shouting:
“Yasss, queen! Look at you showing up! Look at you healing and thriving and aging like red wine! Let’s GO!”
Now that’s the kind of self-talk we deserve.
You Deserve a Voice That Loves You Back
Your mindset is your home. Make sure the voice inside feels like a soft couch, a warm hug, and your favorite playlist on repeat—not a cold critique.
Flip the script. Raise the volume on love.
And let your inner voice become your daily dose of “yes, you can.”
✨ Ready to tune into your highest, hypest self?
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You’re not too late. You’re not too much.
You are exactly what this world needs—on full volume.
